professional tik-tokker for the night

https://youtu.be/xtJn3SuKiQ4

There are few things that make me as purely giddy as getting ready for an event does. We primped at the Brooklyn apartment of a verified influencer, surrounded by cat hair and waterfront Manhattan. Careful to scour every cabinet, drawer, and closet for fun toys to play with, I was dressed and made up entirely thanks to this woman, high on her supply. It was the euphoria of enrolling in a harry potter summer camp in elementary school, when you find yourself participating in the mythological world that thus far has only resided within your imagination. 

The event itself was for women’s empowerment facilitated by a brand specializing in probiotic pills. My impact on the night already negated by my disdain for both women and health, I danced enough to knock over a couch and elicit discouraging yet longing gazes from the four (4) men dragged there by their girlfriends.